Tim Tebow's parents teach you how to raise your own divine child
With Tim Tebow likely trading his biblical eyeblack (now banned by the NCAA) for sitting on an NFL bench, how are we are mere mortals supposed to get our divine guidance as to what He (Tebow) would want us to do (unless he can plop a Bible verse on the back of a clipboard)? How can we learn to be more like Him?
Fear not, my sheep. A few hundred tickets remain if you want to learn from Joseph and Mary themselves about how to raise and nuture your child to become Tebow-like.
On Sat., April 17, David Lipscomb University in Nashville, Tenn., is hosting Bob and Pam Tebow to host a parenting seminar called “Bringing Up Tim Tebow.” Sure, Bob and Pam have four other kids, but can they run for a touchdown and heal the sick in one motion?
So what can you expect from Bob and Pam? Probably something heavy on the homeschooling, considering all the Tebow kids were homeschooled (and Tim’s allowance to play on his public school football team has inspired states to pass what are called “Tim Tebow laws” to allow other homeschoolers to play on school teams, which also makes him the only person not kidnapped and murdered to have state laws named after him). Lots of talk about their missionary work and ministry, given Bob is a minister himself, and both have traveled the world to spread their faith.
And, definitely, their No. 1 piece of advice in raising your own little Tebow: don’t abort him.
If you’re among the 5,000 or so plunking down $50 apiece to hear Bob and Pam Tebow tell you how to raise your own golden child, your money might be better spent elsewhere. After all, the chance of your child being a Heisman Trophy winner/walker-on-water is probably pretty small.
If you want a parenting seminar that might be more practical to your child’s more likely future, I would advise you to sign up for “Bringing Up Ben Roethlisberger.”