Your Kid’s Not Going Pro

A Youth Sports Blog

Dope smokin’ moron…

with 2 comments

don’t make me yawn!

In a statement released Sunday, the swimmer who won a record eight gold medals at the Beijing Games did not dispute the authenticity of the exclusive picture published Saturday by the tabloid News of the World.

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said in the statement released by one of his agents. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

Wait, you say this is the same Michael Phelps who got busted for DUI four years ago?

Depending how you feel about marijuana, you either reacted by thinking smoking pot is never a big deal, unless you’re the waitress at Denny’s that has to serve him afterward, or that you’re afraid your young swimmer is going to grab a bong to “train like Michael Phelps.”

The new, hot facility for the aspiring Michael Phelps in your household.

For you young athletes of any prominence — and I mean anyone from Michael Phelps down to hot-shit-on-campus for the junior high basketball team — assume when in public or at a party that some shmuck with a phone camera will find a way to capture you if you even come close to doing anything embarrassing, whether it’s snorting coke up your nose or picking boogers out of it. You have been warned.

For you parents, check your kid’s MySpace or Facebook page from time to time if you want to see whether your young athletes are up to no good. Chances are, they figure you’re dumb to figure those programs out, and they haven’t put any protection on that would keep you from seeing their pages. Pay close attention to the photos in which your child has been tagged — that can be a treasure trove of hilarious shots of your child’s butt, or your child with beer in one hand, faux-gang symbol in the other!

Back to Phelps — is it a big deal that he got caught suckin’ the bong? Personally, I don’t care. There’s some discussion that he could lose some sponsors as a result, but on the other hand, being known as a pot smoker could open up more possibilities — opening for Cheech and Chong, Pizza Hut ads, etc.

Written by rkcookjr

February 2, 2009 at 12:26 pm

Posted in bad seeds

2 Responses

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  1. i’ve gotta hand it to Phelps for being man enough to acknowledge his actions and apologize — he’s still a decent role model despite the hypocritical media storm


    February 4, 2009 at 12:31 pm

  2. […] First, there was Michael Phelps, suckin’ the bong. […]

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