Your Kid’s Not Going Pro

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5-year-old scores an own goal. And there's online buzz why?

with 3 comments

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The video above of the little girl soccer goalie accidentally kicking the ball into her own net isn’t to Tay Zonday Internet star level yet. But with nearly 100,000 views on YouTube in a week, and shoutouts from Deadspin, the Huffington Post and Buzzfeed, it’s safe to say accidental bicycle-kicker is reaching the status of Internet phenomenon, at least in the youth sports division. An appearance on Versus’ Sports Soup seems inevitable. (It won’t appear on another Soup spinoff, G4′s Web Soup, because no one gets whomped in the nutsack. Or as my 7-year-old son calls it, the sheen.)

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A youth soccer clip that climaxes with somebody getting whomped in the nutsack.

Anyway, back to the clip of the little girl. As described by a commenter on Deadspin named SunnieDay:

This is a clip from a REC soccer game when the goalie was five years old. And how do I know that? Because I took the video and made the clip; she’s my daughter. I appreciate the comments from the people smart enough to take it for what it is — a just-for-fun, “blooper” video, from a moment in our lives that will always bring a smile to my face.

That’s wonderful. That’s cute. But I have no idea why so many people find it so entertaining. It’s a girl who tries to kick a soccer ball in the air, and kicks it over her head and back toward her own goal. That’s it. I bet you, if you weren’t barred from city parks, could see something similar during any youth soccer season anywhere. And then you might see someone get whomped in the nutsack.

The only reason I can figure it’s taken off is so people who are barred from city parks can make vile comments about the video. Sample from YouTube, which is furiously taking down inappropriate comments so quickly that these excerpts might be gone by the time you read this:

CougarBoobies: …perfect example of why women shouldn’t play sports.

Jaraha: She scored on herself. The next Carrie Prejean?

Westmeat: why do they even bother to let this slut play. she is such a fucking loser.

Westmeat (three minutes later): i hate it when bitches like this try to show off and ruin it for the entire team. if her parents don’t beat her with an electrical cord after the game, i will not be surprised.

When my 10-year-old daughter and her friend posted their own YouTube show, they got some cretinous comments like this (which I X’ed out). My daughter asked why, and I had to explain the concept of an Internet troll and the sort of person who gets his jollies talking obscene smack about little girls.

I don’t know what soccer girl’s mom thought the reaction would be, but I hope that if more people watch it, the ones who find the whole thing cute and funny crowd out the weirdos and perverts. I would hate to think they are the most responsible for this video’s inexplicable, enduring popularity.

Written by rkcookjr

November 17, 2009 at 6:14 pm

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