Your Kid’s Not Going Pro

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Posts Tagged ‘domestic violence

If only George Huguely had listened to his father

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Murder suspect and University of Virginia lacrosse player George Huguely is, as of this writing, the most-read story on the Washington Post’s website. However, Huguely — accused of killing female Virginia lacrosse player Yeardley Love, with whom he once had a relationship — has appeared on the paper’s site before because of scandal.

In 2006, Huguely was among the high school players the Post interviewed about the criminal case involving the Duke University lacrosse team, a scandal that turned out be not so much the players’ conduct toward a stripper they hired, but a prosecutor who was disbarred and spent a day in jail for trumping up charges against them.

Huguely’s words sound a little creepy now, as words tend to do when they’re uttered by someone who later happens to be part of a murder investigation. I’m guessing he believes his particular quote more than ever from the March 31, 2006, Post:

“I sympathize for the team,” Huguely said. “They’ve been scrutinized so hard and no one knows what has happened yet. In this country, you’re supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. I think that’s the way it should be.”

The Post was talking to Huguely and other players from his high school, Landon in Bethesda, Md., because it was the alma mater of some of the members of the infamous Duke team. Landon coach Rob Bordley defended his alums, but he also told the Post that he constantly cautions his charges about the dangers of alcohol (the Duke players admitted to underage drinking). Huguely’s father also told the Post had particular words of wisdom for his own son:

Huguely’s father, George, Sr. said yesterday that he’s had discussions with his son, who will play at University of Virginia next season, about staying out of situations that could be costly.

“Regardless of what winds up happening, you have to learn from this experience and take what you can from it,” George Huguely Sr. said. “You always have to remember and can’t let yourself be in a situation where something like this could happen.”

In an affidavit first published by the Charlottesville (Va.) Daily Progress, Huguely admits that he had a verbal confrontation with Love that turned physical, though he said he never meant to kill her. He admitted to shaking her so hard that her head repeatedly hit the wall, and also to kicking his right foot through a door leading to her bedroom. And, he admitted to taking Love’s computer, which would have contained emails he sent.

There’s no word yet whether alcohol was involved. But there’s no doubt that Huguely did not heed his father’s advice.

(Hat tip to SportsJournalists.com for finding the earlier Post story.)

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If girls play football, boys will grow up to be wife beaters!

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Dave Cisar is an authority on coaching youth football, especially in the ways of the old-timey single-wing offense.

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However, I’m not so sure he’s an authority on girls playing football, a subject upon which his thoughts are as old-timey as that offense he borrowed from Pop Warner to dominate at Pop Warner, or some such youth football equivalent.

I think you’ll catch his drift with the headline on his piece about girls and football: “Should girls be playing youth football? NO!”

Sorry, I should have said “spoiler alert.”

Cisar, writing at EZine Articles:

In inner-city Omaha [where Cisar founded the free athletic program Screaming Eagles Sports] nearly 70% of our players have no man in the home. If you think I’m exaggerating, we have had games with 2 people in the stands and both were females, not enough for a chain crew. This was not a one time deal, we have had many games where we did not have 3 males to run the chains. Many of our players have no model of behavior in the house to “copy” of how to properly treat a woman. The kids often see first hand women being physically and mentally abused and of course they hear it in the music they listen to, on TV and in print. I’ve been coaching youth football for 15 years and the “dadless” house problem is getting worse every year. Tom Osborne in his book “Faith in the Game” claims this problem is increasing and is responsible for the majority of crime and problems with young males.

If we let girls play tackle football with boys, we teach the boys that harsh physical contact with females is acceptable behavior. In fact as coaches we would have to encourage and reward this physical contact. Our players would get in the habit and be used to being physical with females, the act would desensitize everyone involved in the activity of physical force being applied to females by males. The female in the meantime is learning that harsh physical contact with males is acceptable, it is now a habit. Now while having females on your team may help the short term progress of some of our football teams I’m not sure we are helping either the boy or the girl in their long term development as productive members of our society.

Now, I’ve coached co-ed basketball teams, so I know that, at least initially, boys and girls do feel a little weird about playing together, especially when there’s contact involved. And I don’t doubt Cisar’s sincerity that he wants boys to overcome a tough environment and treat women well.

But I think kids are capable of separating their on-field actions from their off-field actions. If that wasn’t the case, then Cisar would have been teaching the inner city boys of Omaha that it’s acceptable, off the field, to body block anyone who gets in their way.

His concern is based on an old canard: it’s not OK to hit a girl. I mean, it isn’t. But what I’m saying is, implicit in that statement is that it IS OK for boys to hit each other — which, off the field, isn’t supposed to happen, either. (By the way, it’s nice that Cisar wants to keep women free from the chains, if not of bondage, than of the first-down marker.)

So how does Cisar explain his no-gurlz-allowed policy to families who want to sign up their daughters for football?

In our rural program we have had no female football sign ups. In Omaha we have had a few moms try and sign their daughters up for football. After the initial disappointment wore off and the mom was told why we think it makes sense in the long run for females not to play, the moms were very supportive. I can think of just one case where mom didn’t “get it” and pulled her son out of the program because we would not allow her daughter to be pummeled by boys on our team. I can still see her today, a single mom with 3 kids that needed the program who refused to listen to reason. This mom had two missing front teeth, probably caused by the same cycle we were trying to help break.

She lost her front teeth because her significant male other played football against girls as a kid?

Dave Cisar may already be too late in his crusade to keep football girl-free, and not just because he might run into Natalie Randolph or Debbie Vance at a coaching clinic. For instance, he must have missed the memo that the Florida High School Athletic Association officially has declared football a co-ed sport.

Written by rkcookjr

April 2, 2010 at 4:42 pm