Your Kid’s Not Going Pro

A Youth Sports Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Forbes

A change of address for Your Kid’s Not Going Pro

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If you’ve been wondering, hey, home come this fuckhead hasn’t updated his blog? Have all youth sports problem been solved? Coaches stopped being dicks? Parents stopped being overbearing? Thishere blog writer stopped cursing?

The only affirmative answer is to the final question, because Your Kid’s Not Going Pro has moved to the august cyberspace of Forbes. So I’ll have to clean up my language, unless I get invited to some secret room at the Harvard Club. You can find Your Kid’s Not Going Pro if follow this link.

I’m at Forbes thanks to the same people who brought me on when the blog was on True/Slant, what with Forbes having bought True/Slant a while back. Funny thing is, despairing not getting paid anymore (not that it was a lot, but it was something), I was thinking of hanging up the blog, until I got the call from Forbes. The only big change, other than less swearing, is that on Forbes, naturally, the blog will focus more on business and policy issues, and less on coaches getting arrested for fucking their players.

Anyway, just to get the rest of the swearing out of my system, I will post the lyrics to a song from one of my favorite musicals, “Coed Prison Sluts,” which I have learned is back to the Annoyance Theatre in Chicago. The song is called “Shit Motherfucker,” a tender song in a tender moment as a prisoner is teaching a shy, retiring young woman, thrown in the clink for killing her parents, how to swear like a veteran of hard time. (It’s also a crowd sing-a-long at the end.) Sadly, there is no video of the song, so you’ll just have to imagine your own music:



Fuck you, you cunt, or a prick

Bloooooowwwww jooooooob

Suck my dick!

Thanks for your support, everyone!

Written by rkcookjr

April 1, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Sating the insatiable demand for real-time T-ball action…

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…is a former Cleveland Indians single-A pitcher named Ted Sullivan who says he’s got an iPhone app that will track your kid’s games so you can assuage your guilt at not showing up. From the upcoming issue of Forbes:

GameChanger–due to roll out Mar. 1 in New York, Washington, D.C., St. Louis and Orange County, Calif.–is working a sizable audience: An estimated 25 million kids ages 18 and younger play competitive baseball. “College and pro fans take for granted that they can get game information anytime,” says Sullivan. “But there’s huge demand for that real-time content for youth and high school sports, too.”

Here’s Sullivan’s pitch. Each baseball squad has a scorekeeper who logs every at-bat, mainly on pen and paper. GameChanger’s friendly interface uses straightforward language instead of baseball lingo. Example: Rather than describe a shortstop-to-second-baseman-to-first-baseman double play as a “6-4-3 DP,” GameChanger lets users click on parts of the field where the ball traveled. It can also track customized statistics like “hustle points” or strong defensive plays.

Once logged in, the scoring data flows to Fungo’s servers, which can beam it, in the form of text messages, to the phones of all those busy parents and relatives–as well as to the hundreds of Web sites, newspapers and TV affiliates looking to beef up their news coverage on the cheap.


Scoreboard update!

Forbes points out two problems that Sullivan readily acknowledges. First, with a price point of $2 per month, he has to sell 1 million subscriptions to reach his goal of $8 million per year. Forbes estimates there is a one in 15 chance, based on iPhone sales, that a scorekeeper would have one. I would say given the technology prowess, or lack thereof, of the youth volunteers I’ve seen (unlike Sullivan, my pedigree is not the high clouds of St. Alban’s in DC, Duke and Harvard Business), the chances are far less than one in 15. But even assuming those odds, you can’t assume there is a) a scorekeeper to begin with (in my leagues, a coach keeps track of his or her team) and b) a scorekeeper so inclined to use the iPhone to enter all the information Sullivan wants.

However, I think participation would increase if Sullivan promises to track the following in real-time:

— Right fielders picking dandelions.

— Parent/coach/umpire arguments/ejections.

— How often the coach pitches his son when it’s damn clear your son is better.

Also, in targeting only guilt-ridden parents, Sullivan is ignoring a few obvious markets:

— Ice cream truck drivers, so they know when to show up to a game and park and play their grating song OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER until you HAVE to buy FUCKING SPONGEBOB ICE CREAM BARS just to GET THEM TO GO AWAY, GODDAMNIT.

— Coaches who think they’re running a friggin’ major-league team and want to use it for “scouting.”

— Pervs.