Your Kid’s Not Going Pro

A Youth Sports Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Twitter

Bumper bowling live-tweeting day!

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It’s Saturday, which means more tweeting live from the Brunswick Zone in Oak Lawn, Ill., as my 6-year-old son’s Field Force Monkeys take on — well, I don’t know who they’re taking on, and I don’t think they care. Ryan and his team members seems to worry most about the order of scores amongst each other. Anyway, you can follow all the exciting, beer-less bowling action at, or at your own Twitter feed if you want to follow me (@notgoingpro).

I would be curious to hear any responses, here or on Twitter, just to know it continues to be worth ignoring everyone around me as I do this.

Also, it’ll be a game-time decision whether I also live tweet the insurance adjustor looking at my van to assess the damage to my bumper when someone backed into it.

Written by rkcookjr

September 26, 2009 at 10:53 am

If you missed my youth bowling live tweet…

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You can see it at It went great, until my Blackberry’s network crapped out in the seventh frame of the last game.

bobbys-cameravideo-100Last year’s Penguins, now this year’s Field Force Monkeys: Liam, Ryan, Nick and Trevor.

The live-tweet was part of my ultimately futile effort to show support for Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, under fire from the NFL gendarmes for his desire to tweet during games. The NFL is upset that somebody might discover nothing interesting goes on during Bengals games.

I call this futile because the NFL will do something to Ochocinco after he does whatever Twitter thing he promises to do during his game tomorrow, and that Ochocinco took his grandma to the new Tyler Perry movie instead of following my in-game tweets. Well, I can hold out hope he’ll catch up with them later, and appreciate everything I’m doing for him.

Written by rkcookjr

September 12, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Like Chad Ochocinco, I have a tweet surprise coming for my son's bowling league

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Big-time sports is shaken up over Twitter, afraid that athletes and coaches twiddling their texting thumbs during games will distract themselves from their jobs or, more importantly, distract fans from the live television coverage they’re getting paid billions for.

It appears Chad Ochocinco, the Cincinnati Bengals receiver formerly known as Chad Johnson (he changed his last name to match the nickname he received because of his jersey number, 85 — wait, shouldn’t his nickname be “Ochenta y Cinco”?), is planning to challenge the NFL’s ban on player tweeting. He’s planning what is being called a “tweet surprise” for the Bengals’ opening game Sunday, some loophole he’s found in the rule that prevents him, his representatives or fans he signals in the stands to post his in-game thoughts to any social networking site.

“I’ve been really, really quiet, and there’s a storm coming Sunday,” he told reporters. “That’s one of the things that I do when I’m back: I have something. I keep you on the edge of your seat. NFL, I would like to apologize to you guys early. I understand. I read all the fine print in the letters you sent, but I did find loopholes. I found loopholes.”

Or, as he posted to his Twitter feed: “Storm coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Well, I have a storm coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, too. It’s going to roll out, no pun intended, Saturday during the first match of my 6-year-old son’s bowling season.

In solidarity with Chad Ochocinco, I’m going to live-tweet my son’s match!

I know you’re dying for the behind-the-scenes look at what goes on during a crazy youth league Saturday at the Brunswick Zone in Oak Lawn, Ill. OK, maybe you don’t. But if the No Fun League can stop a man who changed his name to friggin’ Ochocinco from tweeting, any of us who can tweet during sports events should do so, just to let it and other leagues know we want to be social no matter what you think.

In fact, this weekend I would encourage all of you to tweet your events. Maybe it’s your daughter’s swim meet, or you son’s wrestling tournament. (God knows there’s plenty of downtime in those that needs filling, and the Sunday newspaper isn’t as large as it used to be.) You could tweet the youth football game you coach, or the basketball game you’re playing in. For the latter, try to master switching your Blackberry to your off-dribble hand as you do your crossover.

The important thing is, fill up your Twitter feed with anything and everything about whatever sports you and your children are involved with this weekend. Heck, live-tweet a neighborhood game of Ghost in the Graveyard (though, for legal reasons, you should make sure you have a child directly involved in it). If you just want to follow my feed, go to

Now is the time to strike the blow for sports social media freedom. Do it so that someday you never start a sentence, first they came for Ochocinco, but I did not speak out because I was not a pro football player…

Photo_10Please do it. Chad Ochocinco is begging you.

Written by rkcookjr

September 11, 2009 at 12:58 am

YKNGP responds to a Twit

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When I say twit, I don’t mean someone who is a stone idiot. But as I tool around Twitter looking for Twits more interesting than myself, from time to time I come across a Twit that needs more than a 140-character response. Hence, “YKNGP Responds to a Twit.”

Today’s Twit is Geoff Golden, a basketball fan who just joined Twitter a few days ago. His virgin post goes like this:

Just had the opportunity to watch a 7th grade youth basketball game….both teams played a 2-3 zone the ENTIRE game!! Wins v. Development!

2371490657_6230d67ded_mMercy me! I do declare, these dipshits must think they’re Jim Fuckin’ Boehim or something! Be still my beating heart! (Note: Geoff Golden does not appear in this photo.)

I presume Geoff Golden is shocked that the coaches used a 2-3 zone instead of going man-to-man, or maybe switching it up with a 1-3-1, or a box-and-one, or a 3-2, or a triangle-and-two, or something that was less obviously used to ensure victory.

Mr. Golden: as one who finished coaching two different rec league teams, one with 5th- and 6th-graders, and one with 7th- and 8th-graders (with one 6th grader), let me share why these coaches probably had their kids in a 2-3 zone. It’s not because they were ignoring development. It’s because they wanted to eliminate mass confusion.

Believe me, I’ve tried many times to institute a man-to-man defense. I think it’s the best way to play defense, and I think it also helps teach you the concept of moving around on offense. Three problems:

— In rec league ball, sometimes the matchups are so overwhelming in one favor that having a kid play man-to-man is cruel and unusual punishment.

— Also, not everyone is in basketball shape. Even with frequent substitutions, I see a lot of kids sucking wind in a hurry chasing one player around the floor for few-minute stretches.

— However, the main problem is that man-to-man, more than zone (at least at this level) takes a level of communication most coaches aren’t able to develop in tweens and early teens, particularly when there’s only one practice a week. Not that you don’t communicate in a zone, but at least if a player gets past you, there’s probably someone watching to make sure that man is picked up.

The communication is even worse once you start substituting — and the other team starts substituting. There’s no time on the fly to figure out matchups, and the kids never figure them out on their own. You end up with two kids randomly guarding somebody and three standing around like they’re waiting for a bus.

And, yes, I’ve tried this more than one week in a row. Really, by the time the team has gelled and is comfortable with other enough to do an effective man-to-man, the season is over.

Geoff Golden, if you have figured out a way to teach man-to-man to widely differently talented tweens and teens, who don’t know other at practice one, and who practice only once a week, please tell me. I beg of you! I would love to have my teams at least play man from time to time. But having them do that, I’ve found, has hindered their development, not helped it.

And that is today’s edition of “YKNGP responds to a Twit.”

Written by rkcookjr

April 7, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Take your crazy sports parenting out of real life…

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…and put it online!

626990667_0742536ecb_m1Yes, crazy sports parents, the technology exists so you can still be as intense as ever, yet not make a scene! Here are five steps to using techonology to your crazy sporting advantage, and make yourself less likely to end up in the police blotter:

1. Don’t say spiteful things about the coach during the game. Instead, form a “I Hate Coach [Blank]” Facebook group!

2. Don’t scream at the refs. Send them angry text messages! “U SUCK LOLOLOLOLOL :(”

3. Don’t fight with parents, coaches, referees or even kids from the other team at the heat of the moment. Instead, send an Evite to fight them later! “You’re invited… to get your punk ass kicked by me in the alley behind the biker bar! Confirmed guests:  My fists of rock.”

4. Do you find yourself generating a constant stream of bitter chatter? Get a Twitter account! “@13YOREF FU and DIAF (updated one minute ago) @RECCOACH Ur a fukkin idiot (updated two minutes ago) …”

5. If you say, “I’m not a crazy parent!” and think you’re superior to those you believe are, start a smart-alecky blog!